In our mad-dash, non-stop way of life, we often forget about, or maybe even ignore-what matters most for our lives. Deep down, the simple truth that nothing….   no achievements, no pleasures, no possessions take us any closer to knowing ourselves. we are still left empty within as if the entire purpose of existence is missing.

It seems to me that I know my self, and know what is best for me, or maybe im just pretending to know. Sometimes I know whats best for me, but I cant do it..  im unable to bring that change in me. Why?

Making a change often requires living with a situation, or issue before we are ready. In some cases, when im aware of a change around me, my mind will change its settings quickly… Problem solved…

BUT…there have been those few.. The ones that are unable to be solved immediately. And so we live with it for so long, unable to deal with “it”. Its funny how in some cases our awareness becomes alert so quickly, yet somethings just don’t click until its too late. we just cant let go, and continue to hold on to our ‘ways’, which is why we move on unable to make the change. When we don’t want to, our mind makes a million convincing arguments to our self, that theres nothing wrong with u, u don’t need to change one bit. The answer has not come, the solution hasn’t arrived. Maybe we know, but are not able to… It has found a home, deep within our self.. Now what? Can I afford to wait?

What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself and his surroundings. lack of knowledge keeps us tied down to one place, one mindset, one way of thinking.

I have learned, its ok if you are unable to solve the problem, and are not ready to change…. To live with it for a while…just as it is. The answers will arrive….when we are ready. Because anything done without understanding is just as useless. They make themselves known to us..we feel it, something happens very deep inside… We are delivered to change, when we are ready. I am ready. The time has finally come. It invited itself, and I welcomed it open heartedly.

So here is the real life ‘good girl gone bad’ and then also the part two which no one knew about. Hahaha, invented by me… ‘bad girl becomes good again’ no no… ummm  ‘ return of the good girl’ its weird but possible. Maybe with a few scars and scratches, but the return is possible.

I can change, I will change, ive made up my mind and that’s how im going to treat my self now. Discipline, self esteem, self-respect, maturity, responsibility, and ta-dahh..!!! A whole new character.



Posted on October 4, 2011, in Life in the middle. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: