internal conflict

Ok im admitting it..!!! even though i read philosophical books, strive for knowledge, know what is permanent in this universe and whats not… i still cant keep my eyes off that white Audi suv passing by…


I also LOVE shopping.

I love high heels,

dresses, curling my hair,

chocolates, icecream, cake, gold, rubies,

I could shop

And shop

And shop … forever.

  no no no no… im not materialistic though..

Its how we’ve been brought up. This is the only thing we have been taught by schools, colleges, parents (not mine) and society. Get good grades, so u get into a good college, get a good degree, so u get a good job, and get lots of money so u can buy all the luxuries of life. A big house, a big car, get yourself a pretty wife (so she can use all your money, fool u and then maybe kill you.. I don’t know… whatever.) and if u don’t have all of this u are not respected in society. U have no value, u are nothing. (what is status—spending money which we don’t have, to buy things which we don’t need, to impress ppl whom we don’t know.)  no one has taught us simple living and high thinking.

But why am i constantly in an internal conflict. Maybe its because when its time to face the real word, its hard to apply my philosophy. Im like a weak tree standing in the middle of a flooded river. When it comes to spirituality and philosophy, people generally think differently, talk differently and behave way differently. You cant forget that u have to practice what u preach. U cant go around saying the world is materialistic and you shouldn’t give so much importance to money and things when u yourself cant stop dreaming about things u want and cant control your mind and desires.

But then when I think about it, my religion does not teach to renounce everything. My dad told me, theres nothing wrong in desiring a luxurious life. Its wrong if ur insanely after it and that’s the only thing u want in life. People can only see the outside, what someone has, and doesn’t have. But no one can tell what their hidden desires are.

One who does not desire anything, even though he might have everything, and one who is not attached to his possessions, has won this battle.



Posted on July 17, 2011, in Life in the middle. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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